Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
im on a boat
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