so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
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Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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