does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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