How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize