I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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