were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
