there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was born a porn star she said
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
