wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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