Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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