I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
