i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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