I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
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I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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