he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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