I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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