so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
