How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
