If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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