what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
