So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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