R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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