Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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