Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
