Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
