i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
