you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
