youre lurking in front of me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
