I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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