Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
