maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
