I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize