You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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