i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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