i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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