i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
