Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
