Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
