Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
