and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
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we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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