yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
