I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
