please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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