i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
