And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
