In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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