is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
