Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
