I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
