I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
two words...techno handjob
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
