I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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