We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
