New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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