I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
