Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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