And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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